Dealing With Rejection During Unemployment

One of the most difficult parts of a job search is dealing with the inevitable rejection. Weeks and even months may pass without any invitations to interview as you continue to submit application after application. Sometimes an employer will request you complete an assessment of some sort, and you feel like it is something you will ace! Only to find out that you scored either too high or too low for what they are looking for, and there will be no next steps. You start to wonder if you’ll ever hear back from companies, and if you will ever get an offer (in this lifetime). Your hopes ping when you get an email alert about a job - only to fall back when it is the automated rejection.

Let's talk further about job search rejection and how to work through the emotional rollercoaster that we can all experience at one point in our career journeys.

Taking Rejection Personally - Don't.

It’s extremely easy and natural to take rejection personally, especially during extended unemployment. You may likely start to doubt yourself and feel hopeless as you approach your 100th job application. Why bother applying every day when I get rejected every time? you may ask. What did I do wrong? What is wrong with me?

It’s natural to wonder if your rejection comes down to a personal failing. We want to feel like we’re in control and that everything in our life is a result of our actions. This can feel like you doing the right thing or what you have been taught to do, like taking responsibility for what is happening in your life. This kind of mentality can be helpful in the job search - but more in the area of holding yourself responsible for how you show up - not on whether someone else finds value in you. Remember, you do not need multiple job offers; you need the right job. Rejection is part of the game - so take it as evidence that you are showing up every day in your job search rather than evidence of a failure.

It’s easy to think the problem is you. Like you are not interviewing well or you do not have the right number of certifications. It’s okay to feel that way. It’s important to remind yourself that what we see today are hundreds of people applying to ONE job. There are algorithms at play that sort this into the top 10% of applicants for human review, and only 5-10 are invited for interviews. Consider this as well: there may be a personal referral within the company that takes precedence over an unknown candidate's qualifications. It may also be a tough moment in the job market and the jobs you’re looking for are scarce or have hiring freezes.

Whether you're rejected internally or for a new position, there’s many reasons that someone else was chosen that have nothing to do with you. And statistically, with so many people searching, you’re going to be overlooked often. That’s normal, and it will happen even if you work as hard as you can. 

The Temptation to Give Up

When I was going through unemployment, there were many times I felt hopeless. It felt like nothing I did mattered at all. Eventually I started to become numb to the rejection process. I wouldn’t get excited for roles I was applying to, but the sliver lining was that rejections became easier and easier.

This state of apathy is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, it makes it possible to get past rejections, but it also makes it harder to care about the process in general. It became easier to put in less effort, or fail to follow up, as I didn’t see the point in it. This, of course, creates a downward spiral. Less effort leads to less results which leads back to apathy. 

Overcoming Apathy

If you’re in this loop, it can feel incredibly hard to break. How can you be excited when it feels like all your actions don’t give you any rewards? Rather than trying to do a massive break from from this position, you can try to interrupt it with a few helpful reframes:

Firstly, there are many payoffs and rewards that you can find in your job search outside of the offer itself. It can feel like nothing you do matters if you don’t land the job, but that’s not actually true. The act of job searching itself builds skills. Sending emails and connection requests, crafting a resume, preparing for an interview. Your search is a class in communication and resilience, and you do get progress even if it’s not visible. 

You can also try to shift your focus outward a little and think about what you offer to others right now. Even without a job, you offer a lot to other people. You have so many strengths, interests, and things you do for the people in your life. By looking at the bigger picture, you can find many forms of  value in yourself to improve your self concept and gain confidence. I found ways to leverage my interests and skills while job searching, like volunteering more, doing seasonal work like teaching summer swim lessons, and focusing on getting to the gym regularly!

This can be a healthier way to depersonalize rejection than apathy. You can look at yourself holistically and put value into other life domains. This makes it easier to be energized in all parts of life and accept failure in one place. 

Overcome Rejection With A Career Coach

It can be hard to bounce back after rejection, and it can help to have someone on your side. With the Mindset City Co coaching programs, we can help you process and reframe the constant rejection you experience when unemployed. Check the services page to see what we have to offer!